You know that moment in the movies when everything is falling into place?
And the main actor gets exactly what they want?
Yup. That's gradually happening to me.
Job. School. Art. Personal Endeavors.
The rest is slowing following.
But one thing is missing...
A friend, maybe?
Or two?
Yeah, I have friends back in Indiana..
Also, I guess my some of my boyfriend's friends can be considered.
I'm mostly looking for a close friend.
I'm the first one to admit I'm a bit unusual and kind of awkward. But that isn't the real reason why I'm stumbling or even hesitant on becoming close knit with another.
In the past I've have dealt with many things that made me uncomfortable with the friendships. Plus I can be a real homebody or often known as a hermit.
Hesitating and hermits aren't good especially when you're starting from scratch..
SOOOO... Step aside awkward turtle! Imma start a friendship QUEST! lol
So my first step was asking for advice from my friend Lauren. She completely understands since we are long distant besties. She has already started a friend search. Her suggestion was using female friendship sites.
I know. I know. Get the jokes out now...
Are you done? Good.
Haha. Okay so I had the same thoughts, jokes, and skeptism.
Seriously, though they're somewhat helpful. I've tried using previous dating sites I've dabbled in a long time ago (before Ian) and changed the setting to looking for friends. My inbox just became cluttered with ridicously, obnoxious people (guys). So I decided to just give joining a female specific friend site a chance. Ian has also decided to introduce me to a few friends and friends' girlfriends.
We'll see.
The introduction part of starting a friendship isn't hard. It's the cultivating part. I do not... know necessarily how to accomplish that? Like I know the steps but it's overcoming the awkward small talk and low maintenance friendship or no friendship mentality I have. I guess that's why I find it SO MUCH easier to be friends with a geeky guy. haha.
Every time I think about acquiring a friend all I can think about is the movie I Love You, Man.
I am the real life, lady version of Peter Klavin. Oh, yeah! Move out of the way Paul Rudd! I have got you! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!!!!
What do you say?
What do you wear?
What do you go out to do?
After working drinks? (lol)
How do I respond?
If it goes well.. How do I keep it going?
So many questions! After thinking about all my worries I'm kinda of wondering... Why am I over thinking it? How did I get my friends I currently have? How did my previous friendships happen?
I started them through school (elementary, middle, high school), boyfriends, dating, and partying.
Welp. The only thing I've got on there is the boyfriend (which is introducing new people) but why don't have those friendships now?
I stopped partying.
Moral and value disagreements.
They became addicts.
Negativity.
Distance.
Different life paths.
Break ups.
Spouses.
Stealing.
Lying.
Stubbornness.
Or just becoming distant.
In the past I was easily friended by others. I love meeting new people. I liked making people happy even if it wasn't in my best interest. Is that why it's so hard for me now? I understand now that can lead me down a not so great path.
In this quest of friendship here are my goals.
-Become a better friend and stay in contact to those far away that I care for.
-Get back to the open, friendly Andrea that befriended basically anyone...
-But know the difference between who should be the ones kept close
-Let go of the anger still left by the friends that hurt me (present or past)
-Maintain faith in others
-Stop being skeptical of females (haha. A toughy for me.)
-Stop being nervous to approach people you find interesting.
There possibly some others... But I will hopefully be making friends in the city quite soon. This is to be continued...
Operation Friends of Funsies is a GO!
:p
(Sorry if this blog is slopping or jumps around a lot. It was spur of the moment.)
Andrea. :]
No comments:
Post a Comment